Winning Back What I Lost

First run of 2013 on a frigid evening. Temp in the teens with snowpack roads & sidewalks. Going on a post-holiday sugar detox.

Easy TM run. Just trying to ease back into things. Run as much or as little as I feel like running- just run every day.

Easy TM run. Really need to hit the foam roller.

Easy + speed (5 x 1/4M @ 7:30/mi) TM run. Bad ingrown toenail on left foot. Not sure what is worse, the pain from the toenail or digging it out?

Easy TM run. Weekly mileage was thoroughly unimpressive but I did run 6 days this week. Haven't done that since late September. Run every day.

2 easy miles outside in the cold, 18 degrees, and ice. Run every day.

Progressive TM run. Not as cold this week but snow is on the way. May get outside if it doesn't turn to rain. Run every day.

Easy + speed (4 x 1/4M @ 7:30/mi) on the TM. A decent winter storm swept through the valley yesterday so I went snowboarding last night w/ my eldest. My legs are trashed. 

No sooner had I acknowledged my new goal of running every day did I go and injure myself doing something stupid. Built a snow fort on Tuesday evening w/ the kids and woke up in excruciating pain. Left hip/lower back is totally out. Stayed home from work and spent all day resting, stretching and massaging it. Felt good enough to run a quarter mile out and back. Wanted to run at least a mile but it was slushy and icy so I didn't push it. Pathetic

Easy TM run. Back at it. Still can't fully straighten my back out and my hip is pretty sore. Better than last week, probably 75%.  

Easy O/B lunchtime run on the GB from Muni Park to Barber Park. Temp in the teens but clear and sunny. 

Very Easy TM run. 2 visits to the chiropractor and 1 to the masseuse. I can at least walk w/o pain and I don't look like an old man who can't straighten up. Very slow with poor form but at least I'm running again.

Update: Visited the doctor again yesterday. Flex test on left knee was still unresponsive. I've still got numbness, cramping, spasms in my left thigh and some numbness below the knee. A couple of days ago I could barely move the toes on my left foot and now I have regained most of their function but still have a sensation of light needle prickings. The doctor was encouraged by the relative strength in my left leg and that I'm not in any real pain unless I walk or stand for a while. He prescribed me a second (6 day) course of prednisone to see if I can make even more progress before getting an MRI and consulting with a surgeon. I have a follow up next Friday to see where we're at. The steroid runs out on Tuesday so if I feel this good after the steroid is out of my system then maybe we can avoid more aggressive measures? 

Tomorrow will mark 2 weeks of no running. 

Finished a second course of prednisone yesterday and woke up this morning in significant pain again. Strongest pain in hip near "bikini" line where leg meets hip and lower knee, with the same numbness & tingling as before. I have a follow-up appointment on Thursday so I guess I'll be popping Norco til then. Doc said he would order an MRI if I didn't improve after the 2nd round of prednisone. Hopefully, the MRI scheduling and review process will go quicker than this initial phase.

Met with my primary doc today. No improvement in my condition so he ordered an MRI. I'll call tomorrow morning to the Imaging Center. Hopefully, they can get me in ASAP.

Got a call from my primary doc's nurse. They received the MRI results and referred me to a neurosurgeon, Dr. Thomas Manning. She said that the report found a "bulging" in the L3-L5. That sounds positive in that it's not a "herniation," but then again who knows what the surgeon will see and what sort of interpretation he'll come up with. She said I should receive a call from the neurosurgeon's office in the next couple of days to schedule a visit to review the MRI. 

Met with surgeon today for a phys exam and to review MRI. He recommended surgery. Herniated discs L3-L5 exacerbated by severe congenital stenosis and facet joint hypertrophy. Not too surprised. Kinda knew this was coming.

Tentatively scheduled for surgery, multiple laminectomy & discectomy, on Thursday. I say tentatively because my insurance company hasn't approved it yet. Typical. 

Had surgery on Thursday, micro discectomy/laminectomy on L3-L4 and L4-L5. Surgeon said it went well and I was able to leave the hospital Friday afternoon. I was encouraged because it seemed as though all the numbness and pain was gone, but as soon as I returned home the numbness and tingling returned. It might be unreasonable to think it would go away immediately. Too early to tell if the weakness is still there because I'm still largely immobile. I'll try to walk around the block tomorrow and take an inventory.

Called the surgeons office today. The pain in my left leg and hip has returned. It feels like it did before I started prednisone in January. Spoke with the PA and he scheduled a visit for Friday. He also prescribed a new med, Neurontin, to combat nerve pain. I feel like I'm back to square one. PA said that sometimes patients have post-op recurrent pain for weeks. Lovely.

Been over a week since my last update. The neurontin, nerve med, has been effective. I have almost no leg pain and numbness. No lifting, bending and twisting. Back is still pretty tight and stiff but at this rate I should be able to start low impact stuff in another week. The key will be if the leg pain stays away after the neurontin runs out.

Visited the doc on Friday. Things checked out. My left leg strength is still diminished and no reflex on the left side. Doc said that I may never get full or any reflex back. If I understood correctly, he said that the brain has a way of bypassing injured areas to compensate. It basically rewires communication when it is forced to. Amazing. The big news is that I can start low impact exercise now and then running in another couple of weeks. His PA is an ultra runner and after the exam we talked running and he shared a couple of his favorite trails near Bogus Basin. Can't wait to try them out later on this spring and summer.

Saturday: Hit the gym for some light strength training, core work, and 30 mins of elliptical. Worked up a good sweat. This would've been an easy day under normal circumstances but the layoff has been really costly. Feel like I'm starting over from where I was at in late '07. Oh well, I did it before so I know I can do it again. And so it begins........

35 mins elliptical; strength training (legs).

45 mins elliptical. Light weight training (shoulders and arms).

20 mins treadmill walking(incline); 20 mins stationary bike; 15 mins elliptical; strength training (legs)

40 mins elliptical; 20 mins walking (incline); light weight training (chest & shoulders)

30 mins elliptical; 25 mins run/walk. First attempted run (TM) since mid January. Three words: discouraging, disappointing and disconcerting. My left leg is definitely weaker. The deep pain in my left glute has not gone away and all this extra weight is not helpful at all. This road is gonna be even tougher than I thought.

Update: Aborted my re-introduction to running last week. It just didn't feel natural and I developed a pain in my lower back/buttocks, on the right side this time. I have x-rays and a doctor visit scheduled for Friday. Hopefully, its nothing serious but its painful enough to keep me grounded and a little worried.

On the upside, after re-reading Scott Jurek's "Eat and Run" I've decided to transition to a vegan diet. I still eat some dairy now and then but no meat. I feel much better, which is something. I've thought about doing this for a while but my OCD finally won the day. It compels me to compete at something, so if I can't workout then refining my diet is a nice consolation. I'm hopeful that it will put me in a much better position once I start hitting the bricks again.

Began the long road back with a short, slow run. So slow that I'm almost embarrassed to have my neighbors see me plodding along. I like to think that this is the moment i begin in earnest but I hesitate to make any commitments given the on again off again nature of my post-surgery recovery. Back actually felt fine, it was that darn piriformis/high hamstring tendonapothy that continues to plague me. That's something I feel like I can manage though, I've dealt with it for so long. I've been doing a lot of strength exercises and I even lost 7 lbs in the last 3 weeks of April after beginning my conversion to veganism and with very little exercise. So I'm hopeful that as I work myself back into running shape and run 6 days a week, running will feel normal again.

I can't believe I could run so slow, but at least it's two days in a row. [/slow clap]

3 days in a row and slower than ever. Don't remember being this slow even when I was just starting to run and much heavier. Learning to run all over again.

My eldest had a bad mountain biking accident and ended his track season. Feel bad for him. He had already qualified for districts in the 800m. At least he has his senior year.

4 days in a row. Today felt better than the 1st. Small victories.

Plan: Run every day in May, if you can call it that, and see where my fitness Is at. If my back and legs feel ok then I start training with actual workouts.

Early morning run. Lots of issues but it gets tedious to keep naming them.

Short run after another little league baseball game. Win and win.

It was hard. I could barely run. But I did it.

Didn't run yesterday. Dealing with a lot of issues right now and I felt like chit. That's usually when I need to run the most but I curled up in bed and slept 16 hrs instead.

I made up for it tonight by going for my longest post-surgery run. Felt relatively strong and mentally in it. Also, one of the benefits of running so slow is I can really focus on form, landing on the midfoot and really pushing off on the forefoot, without worrying about pace. I still can't get any extension but that'll come as my pace increases. There have been very few bright spots thus far, today was one of them.

Back to back 6 milers. Very warm today, temp around 90. In the 80's when I started around 830pm and I started to bonk by the end. Made it thru. Learning to how to suffer again.

Another easy run on a VERY windy and hot evening. I may be pushing it too much, too soon because my legs felt like concrete blocks. HHT/ piriformis flaring up again. It seems to come and go.

The good news is that the excess weight continues to fall off me. Yesterday, marked 1 month of no-meat. Not quite vegan yet but getting there.

Muy lento. Me siento malisimo. Quizas necesito un dia de descanso.

Couple days of rest didn't make me faster but it did help me get back on the road.

Stretched it out a bit. Longest run since last fall. Doesn't seem like much but in the relative shape I'm in its roughly equivalent to a marathon.

Spent the day looking at the results of the Great Potato and Ogden. Made me really long to be a runner again

Easy run after little league practice. Last practice of our short season and tomorrow is the last game. Gonna be sad to see it come to an end. I love my little team but it takes up a lot of my limited energy, free time and, the way I coach, adds to my stress load.

Back at it now that little league is over. Noticed a little numbness and tingling in my left foot yesterday which has me a little worried. Nonetheless, I was able to run a few pickups, nothing fast but enough to run about 30 secs/mile faster than I have been. Baby steps.

Easy run in the rain. Had planned on extending my long run but got sick over the weekend. It never stops being a struggle.

Broke in some new shoes, Saucony Ride 5's. I like the fit, cushion and feel. I noted the extra weight given that the rest of my shoe inventory are all of the lightweight minimalist variety. At this point in my conditioning its probably best that I put as many miles as I can in shoes that offer more cushion to accommodate my extra bulk. Lost 10 lbs in May but I'm still 30 lbs over my typical racing weight. Baby steps.

National Running Day! Took advantage of a beautiful day to get in my first lunchtime run on the GB since well before my surgery (January?). Legs are heavy, back is stiff, running is still uncomfortable and this fact weighs heavily on my psyche. Nevertheless, even with all my physical troubles it feels damn good to just be out there moving around, breathing hard and yes, even sweating. I have to enjoy the struggle for now, and remember it. It will be that much sweeter when I'm back and even stronger than I was before.  

Easy run on a very warm evening. Looks like 90 degree weather is here to stay. I love summer but I don't love dodging sprinklers at night. Second short run in my new trainers and I really like how they feel. 

Noon: Out and back on GB from Muni Park to KA Trail. Very hot, 87. Encouraged that I felt good enough to be able to run 3 days in a row. 

930PM: Back and left glute were more sore than usual. 4 days in a row. I'll rest tomorrow.

Noon: Loop run on the GB from AM Park to Warm Springs GC. Best run since my surgery. Progressively faster w/ the last 2 miles sub 9:00/mi. That seems silly even as I type it but its a long way from where I was. I actually felt like I was running. We'll see how my body responds tomorrow. 

630AM: Got in a run before work. This is incredibly difficult for me these days. The mornings are when my pain is the greatest because I've usually gone 12 hours w/o medication. Need to ween myself off of the pain meds but its proved to be more difficult than I could have ever imagined. As hard as the recovery from back surgery has been, this fight is equally, if not more, difficult.

Noon: This was supposed to be another easy basebuilding run but it turned frantic. Tried to make it to the Willow Lane bathrooms on the GB but ended up diving into the trees about a 1/4 mile away. I was able to go over an embankment so I'm pretty sure nobody got a free look. Always an adventure these days. 

Noon: Loop run from Muni Park to WS Golf Course to AM Park over bridge and back to Muni Park. Met up w/ a friend from the AG's Office. Tried to warn him that I'm really slow these days. Started out too fast and the conversation really winded me. Beautiful day but a tad on the warm side, 80 w/ a light wind. I enjoyed getting out and stretching the legs after a weekend of rowing the drift boat and 4 days off but the back is already beginning to tighten up. 

Noon: Out and back on GB from FF Memorial to Willow Lane. Perfect temp, mid 60's, and no wind. Felt better after a day off. Still very difficult to run on back to back days.

9PM: Coolish but muggy evening. My easy pace is creeping up ever so gradually. Still not what it was but at least I can see it from here. Doc visit on Friday and he continued the trend of lowering my painkiller dosage. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't one of the hardest things I've ever been faced with. If I can make it through the next month I think it will be smooth sailing after that.

1130AM: Out and back from AM Park to Veterans Park. Lots of rain the last few days keeping things really muggy. Might be the last lunch hour run for a while as the traditional Boise 100 degree weather is forecast to begin.  

10PM: Waited til the sun went down and it had cooled off to a chilly 90 degrees. :(

Unrelenting heat these past few days. Waited until 10pm and it was still 97 degrees. Today's high was 107. Hit every sprinkler I could and stopped in the park to get a drink out of the drinking fountain, twice. 

10PM: Very hot still, 95 degrees. Back to back days are always hard for me to do now. Little stiff and sore this morning in lower back and left leg. I suppose it didn't help that I spent a couple of hours underneath the house checking the AC ducts. House has been a sauna last couple of days with this heat wave. I think I got things figured out and cooling properly now. Why doesn't anyone tell you that you should hose down the outside screens on your AC unit every couple of years? They were clogged and filthy. Should be a lot more efficient now.

Noon: A little cooler than earlier this week, only 85. Nice to get a run in before the fireworks.

Horribly inconsistent these days. I have some serious family matters/emergencies that have drawn my time and attention away. Nevertheless, it was good to clear the mind sorta speak. It's always been a draw for me that running, and more specifically the exhaustion that accompanies it, offers peace of mind, a respite and a form of escapism from the trials and tribulations of life. I guess the question that I should ask myself from now on is not how I can go running when such serious matters demand my strict attention, but rather how can I not?

No training plans, no goals, just run as much and as far as I can on any given day. Wish my body and time would allow for more of it but for the short term this will have to suffice.

Back at it. 1 step forward, 8 steps back.

Easy lunchtime run w/ Dave. Loop run from Muni Park. Temp was rather cool, high 80's, compared to what it's been the last month.

930PM: 3 days in a row but I've had too many ups and downs to get too excited or raise my hopes. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

930PM: Easy run. Massage yesterday. Legs and back feel better.

Got out there for a short run/walk. Beautiful sunny afternoon. Warmest it's been, upper 30's, in weeks.

I'm obviously in horrible shape but that's not as important right now as how my back and legs respond to the reintroduction of this running stress. Didn't feel any tightness or pain in the back or legs. Still some numbness in the left leg. I had two series of epidural injections, one for the right side and one for the left side of my lower spine. It really helped on the right leg and has brought moderate relief for the left leg thus far.

All things considered, I'm pretty pleased with how it went. I hope this is the beginning of something but I've been here a couple times since the surgery. God willing, I'll recover well tomorrow and I'll begin the process of winning back what I lost/gave away.

2nd day back. Nothing too ambitious. Wanna make sure all the parts are working properly. All systems operational.

Tonight I thought about how much I missed being a runner. It's really hard to enumerate everything I miss about running but here's a few things that crossed my mind tonight as I try to win back everything running gave me: I miss getting ready to go out that front door; I miss those first few steps that seem effortless; I miss finding the rhythm; I miss the effort; I miss the exhaustion; I miss challenging myself to get beyond it; I miss the solitude- I nearly always run alone; I miss the cool air; I miss discovering new paths; I miss the goal-setting; I miss the pride; I miss the journey much more than the finish; I miss the example it sets for my little ones; I miss their excitement and desire to run with Dad; and I really miss the community and the support.

#16- I miss the strong compulsion, the pseudo-pathological need to get my run in whenever and however I could that day.

Back at it. Spent about a week leading up to Christmas with my son in the hospital recovering from a burst appendix. Thankfully, he's home now and doing just fine. He's a tough little kid. A lot more stoic and tolerant than I'd have been. Hardly a complaint which was part of the problem. We didn't know something was really wrong til after it burst and he winced and complained slightly that his side hurt. No crying, no tears.

9PM: Cold w/ icy roads & sidewalks. I suspect this wil be a theme for the next 8-10 weeks so I won't repeat it. Extended the run another 5-6 mins. Back pretty stiff but no pain. Obviously, had to take very careful steps.

What I miss: The feeling that your lungs and legs could carry you forever and seemingly the only restriction is time.

4PM: Extended the run another 5 mins.

What I miss about running: Having a friend tell me they were 'waaaay out on such and such street doing some errand' and they 'couldn't believe' they saw me running.